- *Note these things may not be from personal experience, or may be from a friends. Not your job to figure it out. It is for information, and hopefully help someone not be manipulated, or to recognize it when it is happening.
Some traits manipulators show are the flattery, threats, guilt and demeaning the person they want to control. Is it due to a mental illness, multiple personalities as an example, or just an evil person in general. Either way, not the type of person you want to deal with. They seem to go after people who seem weak and for whatever reason need the flattery. People who want to help other people, and so forth. Now don’t take me wrong with being weak. The person may be weak due to depression or dealing with life troubles.
So how do you recognize the manipulator?
- Flattery- Flattery may be the hardest part to recognize. Who doesn’t want to hear they are beautiful or handsome? They pour on the compliments, sometimes to the point they are overwhelming. They may give you gifts, anything to pull you into their manipulation.
- Threats-Threats can be subtle or severe. You may not even realize they are threats at the time. Manipulators are bullies, and like most bullies they are cowards on the inside. However, never take any threat lightly. They can go through with it. Document now, run if you can. Because her comes the guilt……
- Guilt- Manipulators will make you for guilty for things you didn’t even do. They took drugs or drank, it is your fault even though you were nowhere near them. If you stop talking to them they will kill themselves, etc, etc. A non manipulator will take the guilt to heart. It make them die a little inside and even feel guilty. They may find themselves apologizing for something they did not do.
- Demeaning-When things don’t go their way it is all your fault. They become mentally and sometimes even physically abusive. The manipulator will try to wear down your self-esteem to the point it makes you physically and mentally ill. They usually have a very low self-esteem themselves.
Things to remember:
- YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MANIPULATOR NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY.
- Get out of the “relationship” as soon as possible, even if you have to involve Law Enforcement.
- Respect yourself, you have done nothing wrong, no matter what they say to you.
- Block and delete, screen shot anything that could help you with a restraining order if necessary. Thankfully we have cyber bulling laws that not only protect teenagers, but adults too.
- Respect yourself and protect yourself. Self defense classes, conceal and carry classes and permits. As I said they can become violent.
- Be smart and get out as soon as you recognize the type of person you are with. The longer you wait the harder it is to escape.