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So I have been away from the blog for a very long time, mostly because I have been going through many changes in my life. I left my marriage with was toxic for both of us and also moved states.  I am living with what I guess you could call my childhood sweetheart, someone I have known forever, and had a crush on when young. We just recently admitted feelings for each other.

So I should be happy go lucky right?  I wish.  I know this man loves me more than anyone has ever loved me before and does everything to help me, including helping me to the bathroom (thanks to my lupus), but also sorts my meds and makes sure I take all my psychological meds. This has become very important since I have almost accidentally overdosed twice.

I don’t think he had a clue what he was getting himself into even though he researched my conditions.  Especially when it comes to the rapid cycling of my Bipolar and my cold hearted Borderline Personality Disorder.  It has been very frustrating because this was supposed to fix everything correct?  He has been the best father my son has had and I have become the closest thing to a mother his daughters have had.  I hide my conditions from the kids although they know I need more rest and have a lot of doctor appointments.

I have had some medicine changes which have helped, but I still struggle daily so hard.  Luckily I have someone who will not give up on me no matter what.  I applied for disability today and pray it goes through quickly since I cannot work at this time.  I am still hoping to write a book soon. Hell I have too many conditions not to. Glad to be back blogging, but it is time to watch Lucifer so I am out!

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